Broken Binkie

Miss B has been a binkie baby from the very first. As she got older and we said goodbye to bottles, I wasn't ready to wean her from the bink.  I'm a mom who says let them be little.  I'm not anxious for her to grow up anytime soon.

I think we have it backwards in our society. We press our little ones to grow up and become little people before they are ready.  (Like that Your Baby Can Read program.  Why in the world does your baby need to read??) Oh my word, I could talk all day about parents pushing academics on their children at young ages.  For many, after pushing and pushing through grade school, they reach high school and it becomes about having a good time, sports, cars, dating, parties. They are told that these are the best years of their lives and they need to enjoy every minute. It doesn't stop at high school. It continues through college and into life. There's a whole world out there not taking responsibility for themselves (yet expecting others to do it for them).  But in third grade they could probably do their times tables in under 5 minutes.

Here's my theory: let children be children and then when the time comes, give them the responsibility to become a young adult rather than a teenager.  Teach them how to work hard and do hard things, how to think for themselves and provide for themselves. They are capable of it. They will rise to the occasion if you expect it of them and allow them to do it. They will find incredible satisfaction in the journey.  Let's raise leaders and not followers.

So in my home, my little ones (Miss B and Sam-a-lam) are busy being children.  They play and explore and build and read. I'm not worried about whether or not Sam knows his multiplication tables (he doesn't) or if Miss B knows her alphabet (she doesn't). I'm more concerned about the lessons they are learning in character which will last the rest of their lives. Who they are, what their role is in our family, that their Heavenly Father loves them, how to be nice, how to work hard (alongside their brothers and mom and dad), how to choose the right.  And the interesting thing is that learning occurs along the way. It has to. Sam reads. Miss B counts. It happened in the course of being children rather than a strict curriculum that had to be accomplished.

I guess I'll step down from that soap box. I have so much to say on the subject and it isn't even the reason I started to write.  I'll add that I know that not everyone fits the mold I described. There are many wonderful young adults out there who stand for something and are going to change the world. I've met them.  Also, I couldn't possibly describe my entire parenting philosophy in three paragraphs. But really, I feel passionately about letting our children be children and leaving the requirements in academics for later.

What was I saying? Oh yes, Miss B's binkie. Her bink was our constant companion. We didn't leave the house without one. She couldn't make it the six miles to town without it.  If we pulled out of the driveway without one we'd turn around, because we'd made that mistake before. We'd scour the house before bedtime, shining flashlights under couches and beds in hopes to find one so that she would go to sleep.  On cleaning days, at least a half a dozen binkies would show up and be stashed away in case of emergency (like bedtime).

But the last few months I've noticed that her teeth were starting to form to her bink. Perhaps it was my imagination (or paranoia) but I knew that the bink was going to have to disappear and sooner rather than later and I was not looking forward to it. Last weekend Jake had a 3 day weekend and it was perfect timing to do it. We received plenty of advice on the course to take and we decided to snip the ends of the pacifier off (not in front of her of course) and tell her they were broken.

Boy did that make her mad! She threw a big ol' fit when the bink didn't work right. She stopped taking naps. (She's been 10 days without a bink and 10 days without a nap.) She had trouble getting to sleep at night and couldn't sleep past 6:30am. The first 7 days she was irritable and naughty due to lack of sleep and missing her bink. She got her share of spanks that week.  I understand she was going through a rough patch, but she still had to be nice.

Finally the last couple days she's started to settle into a routine. This morning she actually slept until 9:40.  Jake had duty today and I was exhausted from the last week and so I jumped at the chance to continue sleeping and skip church.

She was so happy today. Just like her old self. She watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and read books with me. She ate a hearty breakfast, lunch and dinner. And by 8:30 she easily went down to bed.

I think we may be over the worst of it. (Knock on wood.)

But we'll see what time she drags my butt out of bed in the morning.

Oh right, I'll be dragging myself out of bed in the morning. Because it's Sam-a-lam's birthday! He's 9 years old tomorrow! And that means breakfast in bed. He requested chocolate chip pancakes with strawberries and dad's brown sugar syrup. Sounds like a sugar rush to me. But you only get breakfast in bed once a year.